This intimacy, a mirror for my soul,

reveals not just You but the essence of me.

 Rumi

We find ourselves in an environment that is dominated by rapid technological advancement on one hand and an inner energetic restructuring on the other hand.

Both forces profoundly changing the way we, as human beings, are relating to ourselves, to one another and to the wider environment. Technology has connected us across vast distances, yet in doing so, it has disconnected us from the immediate depth of experience. At the same time, the stirring from within calls us back to sensitivity, to the subtleties of existence that cannot be imitated by algorithms or artificial worlds.

The Illusion of Connection

Whilst tech is reaching for the stars, often forgetting the star particles we already carry within, waves of awakening surge through us, shaking us to fuller awareness and ushering us along our souls’ paths.

We may believe technology has connected us more than ever. Yet, despite the multitude of perceived benefits, nuance is fading, our AI companions are not sentient – at least, not yet.

When we form an intimate connection with ChatGPT, even if it provides the most thoughtful response to our emotional distress, it still remains unaffected emotionally. It lacks consciousness and feelings. Through text messages, social media, and curated personas, we are essentially engaging with a simulation of intimacy.

These artificial bonds are eroding the multilayered depth that defines the truth of our nature.

During lunch with a friend, I was surprised to learn he relies on ChatGPT to process his emotional struggles. He explained that this allows him to show up ‘happy and positive’ when meeting with friends, avoiding the “burden” of sharing negativity. Technology can make it easier to bypass discomfort or vulnerability, but those very experiences are often where genuine relationships grow. 

Algorithms reshape neural pathways, favouring dopamine-driven reward circuits over the brain regions that foster empathy and social connection.

We are drawn into the illusion of connection, lulled by endless poppy fields of shallow interactions that numb our deeper senses. We drift further from ourselves, each other, and our habitat. Still, there is a remedy to awaken from this hypnotic slumber, and it is the art of intimacy.

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall

Intimacy is a return from our screens to what is real. The return to our essence. Cultivate it, and reignite what has been obscured.

But why intimacy?

Intimacy in the truest sense, often misunderstood as physical closeness or romantic affection, is a process of mutual revelation. The act of seeing and being seen. It reflects the depth of closeness of a connection. It reminds us that we can see, feel and understand one another and our environment intuitively, not intellectually but through the electromagnetic fields of our hearts. 

Intimacy is not based on transactional relating but kinship: relational relating. If we reveal ourselves, with our hearts soft and open, be it to a blade of grass, a glowing ember in the dark, or another person, an unshakeable truth peacefully resolute unfolds before us: we are not isolated fragments, objects, or parts but only one continuous being, unravelling towards wholeness.

Kinship as Foundation

In Indigenous perspectives, intimacy is a vital aspect of right relationship. Here intimacy is far more holistic than in the conventional often misunderstood sense of the modern worldview. It is not an emotional luxury.

Intimacy weaves through bonds with the land, the community, the spiritual realm, and the self.

This multifaceted intimacy nurtures a web of connections that promote healing, resilience, and balance, enabling each relationship to be one of respect, reciprocity, and trust. In this way, intimacy is foundational to right relationship, enriching life and strengthening community and continuity. While kinship in Indigenous communities often comes with deep-rooted understanding, respect, and reciprocity, in modern life, we can still cultivate these bonds through intentional relationships with others, the land, and ourselves.

Kinship extends beyond human connection. The trees, the soil, the rivers, and the animals are all part of our extended family.

In her novel The Island of Missing Trees, Elif Shafak beautifully includes the perspective of a fig tree, which teaches the reader that ‘plants can recognize their kith and kin, feel you touching them, and some, like the Venus flytrap, can even count.’

Kin relationships often serve as basis where intimacy can develop over time, as family members share experiences, support each other, and understand each other’s personal histories. In essence though, while kinship provides a structural connection, intimacy brings emotional depth and closeness, making relationships feel more personal and profound. That is as true for blood ties, as it is for any other relationships we have, including the one with Ourselves.

A Return to Wholeness

Our souls, our psychology, and even our bodies seek wholesomeness.

This yearning for integration is mirrored in the natural rhythms around us. When we cultivate intimacy with the land, we attune ourselves to its subtle signs—the whisper of the wind moving trees, the cycles of growth and decay, the seasons that remind us of rest and renewal. As we deepen our relationship with nature, we begin to see ourselves not as separate from the Earth, but as an integral part of her ever-evolving tapestry.

To be intimate means to witness the subtle and often unseen, energetic shifts that take place in our surrounding and within us. We may begin to be emotionally stirred or respond to the world with increased awareness. Perhaps, we suddenly recognize the patterns of intergenerational trauma bubbling up and equally experience the healing that runs through us, once we address those patterns.

It means to feel deeply—not to suppress emotions but to allow them to move our energetic, psychological and physical bodies, to be absorbed into the larger tapestry of our being.

Sounds abstract? Just think back to last time you had a clearing conversation with a dear friend, who you’ve been avoiding for a little too long. Do you recall the tender, warmth that ensued as your bond of love was revealed again?

Intimacy invites us to embrace these shifts, to trust the process of looking deeply and feeling fully. It reminds us that wholeness is not a destination but a practice—a way of being that arises when we engage genuinely with ourselves and the world around us.

The Practice of Intimacy requires Courage

How do we cultivate intimacy in a world that often discourages depth? As with so many practices, this too begins with awareness. And here, the stirring within supports our evolution, guiding us forward.

To be intimate is to be fully here, a willingness to engage with the world inside and around us with presence and an open heart.

Amidst a busy day we pause to feel the texture of a leaf, we listen attentively to a loved one speaking or sit quietly with our own thoughts and feelings.

It involves experiencing discomfort. A heart not only soft and open but equally courageous.

Intimacy invites us to become familiar with what we might prefer to avoid—our fears, our wounds, and our shadows. In facing these parts of ourselves, in hearing their whispers we create space for healing and growth. Zen Buddhist Teacher Roshi Joan Halifax encourages us to cultivate a strong back and soft front. Our strong back enables us to keep the heart soft and open, allowing us to confront discomfort with poise; and equally welcome the joy and beauty that surround us, embracing all of life with equal presence.

Finally, intimacy thrives on reciprocity. It is not a one-sided act but a mutual exchange, a dance of revelation, as Taoist priestess Sun Pu-erh so beautifully points out.

“A person looks. The blossoms look back:

Plain heart seeing into plain heart.”

Toward a Kinship of the Soul

In a world increasingly shaped by technology that alienates us from our essence, when we practice intimacy; we move toward a kinship of the soul—a way of relating that is meaningful, profound, and honours the interconnectedness of all life. This kinship transcends transactional relationships, inviting us into a deeper, relational way of being. It teaches us that we are not isolated individuals but threads in a vast, intricate web.

In this kinship, intimacy becomes an enabler of collective change, a sacred act, and a cosmic reminder of our shared essence with all that exists. Just take a moment to contemplate the last time you experienced an intimate moment. It calls us back to truth viscerally.

Really feel into this—what could be more enchanting than continually reclaiming the wonder that reveals our essence?

Just look all the way up at the stars on a moonless night. There! You have your answer.

Words by Mia Ganda